Haven’t felt this low in a long time. I just can’t wrap my head around it, I can’t understand how people can keep tossing me around and then dump me, off, alone, forgotten. I’m broken and every time I almost fix myself life throws a curveball and boom! my self esteem is shattered to pieces.
I sound pathetic but in all honesty, being alive right now is the hardest thing in the world. Some mornings I wake up and think to myself ‘why are you doing this?’ and ‘what’s the point of it all?’. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I really did die? Maybe that’s the solution. I lost my soul five years ago on that operating table. This is the price, walk the earth a soulless drone, cursed with emotions. Maybe that’s why I stop and look at the sky and think, I don’t want to be alive.
Living is without a doubt my biggest accomplishment.